"But what if I really am wrong? What if I am lazy and worthless and I never amount to anything? What if I really am stupid and a burden? What if there really is nothing to me? What if under all this doubt, they’re just right?"
This doesn’t even begin to cover what folks with mental illnesses experience. This is real, this is heavy, and even though some of these symptoms feel like the never really go away, the intensity will pass. You might need various therapies, medications, and supports, and that is so so valid and so so important. This will not control you forever. You matter. Keep fighting.